The Greatest Balance

In my younger days, I was most certainly ran by ego. My every decision was based on it. All of my moves were calculated by it. Eventually, I began to see it as a source of many troubles. Interestingly, this came about around the time that I began acting.

Before I was an actor, I rarely cried or showed vulnerability. I wouldn’t say that I saw it as weakness but I saw how much approaching situations from an emotional rather than a logical standpoint was a handicap. Avoidable mistakes were made.

And so I started on the journey that led me to where I am today. I focused completely on self instead of ego. But this also led to problems. I became more of a doormat to the world. I cared more of what others thought of me. I even let influences dictate what I considered to be important in my world. I don’t regret it all but I do wish I’d approached things differently.

Now we live in a world where social media controls more than we might even imagine. It has the ability to control our minds as well as our next steps. Along with that, and pursuing acting full time, I see why the ego is actually needed. With ego comes confidence. Sure confidence can come with self as well. But the fact of the matter is we are all in a world that is run mostly by ego. It’s the main reason humans are not courteous to each other. Since we who favor self over ego must battle with ego influenced people, our own egos are still a vital part of our psyches.

For the past year or so, after spending three-quarters of my life living by ego and one-quarter of it living by self, I’m actively working on finding that perfect balance.